Comments on: Evangelicals and the Marriage Bed

By: Michael Micek

Michael Micek — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 23:55:32 +0000

Perhaps some day there will be new ministries carried out by and for those living the sacrament of marriage. Indeed, in Humanae Vitae (paragraph 26) Paul VI called for this, and that is precisely why John Kippley founded the Couple to Couple League.

By: Marc Cardaronella

Marc Cardaronella — Wed, 15 Sep 2010 02:15:44 +0000

Interesting, this “flesh” approach. Seems too way out but I believe it!

Nice comment Michael on how marital sex opens a gateway for grace to create union for the couple. Closing off grace through contraception would explain divorce statistics resulting from decreased unitive effects of marital sex.

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:56:55 +0000

I take absolutely no offense to this article, even though I come from an evangelical background. It’s awesome to get an “outsider’s” perspective on evangelical theology and practices. This stuff is always worth thinking about, and I think it’s great that you’re writing about it.

I still believe, though, that there is room for “fun” in the marriage bed. I don’t personally think it necessarily trivializes it. But I see where you’re coming from. I understand the concern – I also don’t want to trivialize sex. I agree that sex profoundly meaningful and sacred. I can see how the pursuit of “fun” can lead to all kinds of perversions. But I also believe that God invented fun and laughter and silliness, and that it’s OK to sometimes enjoy these things in the right context. And I personally think marriage is one of those contexts. But I’m open to new thoughts on the subject. Thanks again for your thoughts!

By: Brian Killian

Brian Killian — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 15:39:44 +0000

Kathleen, yes the marriage bed is a gift from God, to be enjoyed, and a source of delight. What I am objecting to is the idea that sex is supposed to be “fun” and “hot”, etc. What is behind the notion of marital chastity is that there is good and holy enjoyment of sex, but there is also a kind of evil enjoyment of sex; a sort of evil charm when it is pursued the wrong way, that seduces but is ultimately empty. When people talk of sex being “hot” I suspect that they are dealing with this darker side of sex.

“Fun”, on the other hand, is just not a suitable word because it is too trivial for something as grave and meaningful as sex. Playing video games is fun, but I wouldn’t call sex fun. Sex is just way to important, momentous, sacred, etc. to be described as fun. Of course, I don’t want to deny that sex is enjoyable, pleasurable, and all that, just that it’s a sort of trivializing of sex to call it simply fun.

Anyway, this article was written originally for a Catholic audience and I could see how a protestant might take offense at it so I’m glad that you have received it so positively and that it has given you something to think about. Marital chastity is always a worthwhile thing to ponder for Protestants and Catholics alike!

By: Kathleen Quiring

Kathleen Quiring — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 04:02:58 +0000

As a Protestant coming across this subject for the very first time, your article intrigues me. I have honestly NEVER come across the idea of chastity within marriage (i.e. between two people married to one another) and so I have a lot to think about before I can really respond. Regardless, I really appreciate you bringing these ideas to my attention.

On the one hand, I totally love and agree with what you said in your last post on the subject: “Contraception was invented for a single purpose, to maximize the possibility of indulgence while minimizing the consequences.” SO TRUE. I plan to seriously consider this matter deeply.

On the other hand, I’m hesitant to completely agree with the statement, “The marriage bed is not an amusement park.” True, but I also believe the marriage bed is a gift from God – a blessing for married couples to enjoy. Maybe not an amusement park, but at least source of delight?

Anyways, thanks for these coherent and thought-provoking posts.

By: Michael Sweeney

Michael Sweeney — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:39:13 +0000

Good Article – Well said. I often think the Grace that comes through the Sacrament of marriage comes when the married couple “take each other in truth” as Tobit asked. If that’s true, Marital Sex is supposed to open the gateway to God’s Grace, as well as produce physical, emotional & emotional union for the couple. Using contraception, by replacing Truth with Lust, literally destroys the flow of God’s Grace, and the 3-fold union, in the marriage.

That would explain the High Divorce Rate among Christian couples who use artificial contraception, and would also explain the much Lower Divorce Rate among Christian couples who obey the Church’s Teaching on Artificial Contraception…

By: Michelle aka Catholic Lady

Michelle aka Catholic Lady — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:02:39 +0000

Enjoyed this article! Thanks!

By: Todd

Todd — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 13:48:58 +0000

I really like this article because it breaks down two distinct mindsets. I also think there is a propensity for divorce among evangelicals who wait until marriage and I wonder how much of that has to do with a contraceptive mentality.

By: Eva David

Eva David — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 17:55:53 +0000

Great post. Have recently had some interesting discussions with a friend on the topic of Levitcal rules about sex and how things might have shifted under the new covenant.

Fascinating stuff.